Departing From the Norm

I guess I probably owe some of my family members an apology. When I made my Christmas wish list, I said that I wanted some shirts. I even included some measurements on my list in the hope that it would make finding shirts easier for whoever wanted to buy some for me. Well, I didn’t get any shirts for Christmas. My shoppers reported that I was impossible to buy for and that, if I wanted shirts, I would have to go buy them myself.

I confess that my shoppers didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. I know that it is impossible to buy shirts that fit me. That’s why I included shirts on my wish list. I was hoping someone else would have more luck than I have had. The problem with buying shirts that fit me is that my arms are unusually long for my neck size. If you don’t believe me, try finding a shirt with a 16-16.5 inch neck with sleeves that are 36-37 inches long. It’s impossible—well, almost impossible. I managed to find a few yesterday! I had to walk through every store in the mall to find some, but I found some. (Finding clothes that fit would be so much easier if clothing retailers had more interest in clothing people than in turning a profit. It’s not profitable to make (and stock) shirts in my size; there aren’t enough people like me around to make it profitable to do so. It must be nice to be an average-sized person; every store has clothing in your size.) To my frustrated shoppers: if you want to see what your money bought, come to Massachusetts; I’ll model them for you.